This is my persuasive essay can you go through it and please critique

it and show me what I’m doing wrong And please tell me if my thesis statement is a solid thesis statement any help you can give me all my whole paper I would appreciate it thank you.

The necessary task of fixing our American education system
Levi Downing
Walden University

The necessary task of fixing our American education system
Intro
The resolve of this paper is to describe how our American Educational system is failing, the things we need to do to fix it, and the benefits we will see from Restructuring the educational system.
We need to address our American educational system, and these are the Issues we need to address to begin fixing the system: Increase and redirect our educational spending, Make schools and our learning environment more diverse and multicultural, Do0 away with no kid left behind and move towards a multi-age learning system for our students.
Our American Educational system needs fixing(restructuring). Our educational system not only has a lack of funding but also has a lack of accountability of funding For example in Camden NJ (a city that is considered one of America’s most dangerous cities) it spends on average $23,356 per student That is double the national average. Moreover, Camden has a less than 40% graduation rate (Briody, 2011). We as Americans are spending over half a trillion dollars on education every year yet we have educational systems like Camden that are not producing our money’s worth. One may ask well where is all the money going? One of the places we are miss spending our educational dollars is Teachers unions contributing to political campaigns. In 2017 Fox News reported that in 2016 teachers unions Donated 33.2 million dollars to politicians political campaigns (“By the numbers: Teachers union political contributions in 2016”, 2017). Relatively speaking that is not a huge amount; however, that is 33.2 million dollars spent on a gamble. Imagine if  That 33.2 million was better spent or nutritional programs are other school programs that benefit the students. Another example of School miss spending would be my kid’s school, Lakeview middle school in Victorville California  CA, took both my kids on a field trip with the rest of their classmates to an Amazon warehouse to encourage them to work for Amazon when they graduate high school. They even dared to tell our young students that they will start them off with the high rate of pay of $15 an hour. Actions such as this field trip are a complete slap to the face of students, parents, and teachers that are trying to encourage higher education. It is a direct misuse of funds that could have been used to take them to the science museum or any other education-based field trip to encourage them to do better with their lives then $15.00 an hour.
The most crucial ways we can redirect our educational spending would be first to reevaluate all areas of misused spending and how it has affected us up to the realm of higher learning. According to the federal student aid Department The U.S. Department of Education gives over $120 billion a year in grants, work-study funds, and low-interest loans (“Types of Aid”, 2019) however in Contrast in a 2015 survey conducted by nerd wallet found out that 45% of United States graduates did not apply for FASFA Which left a total of 2,692,574,521 (Simons & Helhoski, 2016). 2,692,574,521 is a lot of unused finances for students that could have used the money to pursue higher education. FASFA money comes directly from us taxpayers; this just further illustrates how our finances need to be actively looked over. We need to make FASFA an automated process so that every student Automatically knows what he or she qualifies for and has the choice and opportunity to pursue higher education. We also need to invest in shrinking the class sizes There are numerous benefits for us refocusing our finances on making the class sizes smaller  More one-on-one time, Easier to identify issues, More cohesive class culture, Better relationships with teacher, Students are more engaged, And research shows that overall students perform better in smaller class sizes(Hatch, 2019). We also need to refocus our finances on the best learning technology for our students, Let us face it The technology gap between our schools and the real world grow further and further each day our students are still learning through old methods and technologies that will not benefit them in the real dynamic world. With A.I. and global communication on the rise, our students need to be using/ learning on the same technologies that the real business world uses. In the article from the “elearning industry” a recent poll revealed that 75% of educators think digital content will replace textbooks with technologies such as VR and gamification by the year 2026 (BLISS, 2019).Knowing this we need to focus our finances so that we could be ahead of the curve. Another area we can refocus our educational finances to is school nutritional programs another hard fact is Americans eat horribly, and a lot of American students go hungry at school it should be a level playing field for each student every student should be able to study the best on a full stomach of proper nutrition. Studies show that nutrition status directly affects Students,  Deficiencies in iron, vitamin E, vitamin B, iodine, and zinc Decrease dopamine, cognitive abilities, and mental concentration.
On the other hand, proper amounts of carbohydrates and amino acids increased perception, intuition, and reasoning (Just, 2014). Knowing these facts about how good nutrition impact students we need to make proper nutrition readily available to students on every level from kindergarten to College Regardless of their financial situation from rich to poor let us make sure every student has proper nutrition.
lack of diversity Hurts students and teachers alike. Lack of diversity is an onion statement and has many layers to it, but we must Make schools and our learning environment more diverse and multicultural. Lack of diversity in classrooms causes students and teachers to become narrow and closed minded to different cultures and ways of thinking.  If students are not exposed to different cultures different thought processes on different perspectives from a young age, then they run the risk of growing up and not being able to see things from different angles tying directly into the dynamic of technology and learning. Students that are not experiencing different cultures and ways of learning are set back far behind compared to other students that are experiencing different languages, cultures, and ways of learning.
teachers who are not experiencing the diversity of different cultures teaching techniques, races, and learning types run the risk of becoming stagnant and only able to teach one type of learner, and as we know, there are multiple types of learners especially when we add in cultural differences. Everyone learns differently, and at different paces; currently, our Education system is set up for one style of learning. We all know a fish does not learn the same way as a bird And if our education system is it set up to see who can get up the tree the fastest, of course, the bird will win every time. It does not mean that the fish is not capable of learning; it means that the system that he is learning in is flawed; that is why diversity is so crucial amongst teachers.
Diverse classrooms allow both students and teachers to perform globally. What is meant by that is They become more aware of different cultures people learning styles and other variables making them more rounded individuals. Diverse teachers can recognize different types of students different cultural barriers different things that come into play in the education of their classroom and students Pairing Diversity with smaller classroom sizes is a powerful combination allowing every student to get what they need from the curriculum and be able to excel on a global level. For example, In an article by By Rebecca M. Solomon, Ph.D. she explains that There are many benefits a student can attain when they learn a second language From a young age Such as cognitive advantages increase problem-solving skills and creativity. Students also develop an interest and curiosity about different cultures and ideas from learning different languages which better prepares them for our ever-growing global society where languages and cultures mix daily (Solomon, Ph.D., 2016).
Teachers who become experienced in working with diversity in their student population are more rounded and better at teaching they can recognize different learning traits in students and cultural learning barriers Causing them to obtain the best performance out of every student. In an article by Brian Kisida, he explains that teachers who have a cultural understanding of their students are more likely to have a deep and meaningful interpersonal connection with their student and that racially diverse teachers might be more culturally sensitive and less bias (Kisida, 2016). By having diversity amongst our teacher’s students classrooms and curriculum, we can drive a learning environment That addresses the learning requirements of every student on every level.

Social promoting and “no kid left behind” does more harm to teachers and students then it does help. We need to do0 away with no kid left behind and move towards a multi-age learning system for our students.
The current problems and Perils with the no kid left behind, and the social promoting teaching system is endless and complicated. It is a system that has failed our students in their adult lives leaving them unready for the real world mentally and educationally. For everyone who has not experienced “social promoting” it is the exercise of promoting pupils from grade to grade with their classmates even if the student has not met the academic or performance standards at that grade (Doherty, 2004). The other component of social promoting is holding students back a grade which affects our students negatively. For example, in an article by Kathryn M. Doherty, she speaks About how research shows the practice of promoting unprepared students does not increase their achievement of life chances and research also shows the practice of retaining students a grade often has adverse educational consequences such as causing the student to drop out (Doherty, 2004). Knowing these facts why would anyone want to continue with the current system it is damaging our students and making them incapable of dealing with college and the real world, but there is a better way, its called a multi-age learning system.

The vast benefits of using a multi-age learning system are children learn at their own rate, spend longer times with the same teacher, more family oriented, older children mentor the younger, children are receiving teaching according to their learning strengths, better social development and teachers receive students that are well prepared when they are advancing to the next level. “A multi-age classroom is not merely a group of dissimilar aged students positioned in the same classroom. Alternatively, it is a well-organized and thoroughly thought out program designed to take advantage of the natural diversity created” (Leier, 2006).  It is very well documented that multi-age learning systems or classrooms are better for both teachers and students.
By transitioning to a multi-age learning system for our students, it will allow them to learn at their own pace until they fully understand a concept or subject. Instead of the mass-producing factory style education, we currently have. However, we cannot kid ourselves in order to move forward to a multi-age learning system it would take a strong financial push, and redirection of our current educational spending practices, it would also take as moving forward in making our classes more technologically and culturally diverse. We would also have to shrink classroom sizes to fit the multi-age learning system better. By changing the three areas, we addressed today Educational spending, diversity, and social promoting we can make a significant influence on our educational system.
we have all seen how our current educational system could be working better for both teachers and students and for our economy we have seen how our current system does not work and the reasons why.
So, are we to give up and say this is the way that it has always been instead of looking progressively and proactively towards systems that are proven to educate our students better?  It is demonstrated to everyone all the different pros of correcting the financial system, changing the diversity dynamic an educational system, and how moving to a multi-age learning system will better benefit us all as students from Kindergarten to those pursuing their doctorate. Let us actively seek and push to make the changes in each of our communities.